


Very Responsible (And Utterly Mad)

by Daughter_of_the_Mountains



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Balin Can't Believe He's Actually Related To These Idiots, Bets, Bifur Tries To Help, Dori Trying To NOT Be A Mother Hen, Fíli and Kíli Are Little Shits, Gen, Óin Trying To Be A Mother Hen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2014-11-08
Packaged: 2018-02-24 14:11:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2584250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daughter_of_the_Mountains/pseuds/Daughter_of_the_Mountains
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Irresponsible?" Óin repeated, dark eyes narrowing dangerously. "Irresponsible, am I?"</p><p>Dori sniffed. "If the boot fits."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Very Responsible (And Utterly Mad)

It was hard to say how it started. One minute, Glóin was chasing Nori who'd stolen his locket and the next they were rolling about on the floor, wrestling and giggling like a pair of dwarflings.

"No!" Dori warned, wagging a finger at the pair, who continued wrestling anyway. "Stop this minute! Nori, let go of his hair! Glóin, _stop now!_ What would Gimli think?!"

Heaven knew what Gimli would have thought, for his father didn't give an answer. His uncle was watching, smiling away until Dwalin lightly nudged him. "I think you'd best step in before Nori's mother gets hurt."

Dori heard that and shot him a cross look.  Óin sighed heavily and strode over. Bending, he grabbed both by an ear and hauled them, protesting wildly, up, much to Dori's horror.

"You'll rip their ears off their heads!"

"No, I won't," the healer declared. "Ears are the most durable part of the body."

Kíli looked curiously at him, following this, but decided not to comment- perhaps luckily for him.

"Nori, give him the locket back. Glóin, next time he nabs something, _don't_ wrestle him. A punch in the throat is quicker, and-"

"ÓIN!" Dori snapped. "Don't tell him that!"

"But it's true! Would you prefer them rolling around?"

"Of course not, but-"

"Well then! What's the fuss about?"

"It's very irresponsible!"

"Irresponsible?" Óin repeated, dark eyes narrowing dangerously. "Irresponsible, am I?"

Dori sniffed. "If the boot fits." Then he crossed his arms. "You can't go telling your own brother that it's acceptable to punch his friends in the throat."

"Why not? _You_ clearly told yours it's alright to nab things."

 Dori glared at him. "That was _not_ me, and you know it! It wouldn't kill you to put a bit more effort in-"

"Effort? I _do_ put effort in!"

 "When was the last time you hugged your brother, even?" Dori questioned, folding his arms and staring at

"There's a difference between mothering and brothering, Dori!"

"Fíli and Kíli hug each other."

"Yes, because they're young and Fíli's in a situation where he doesn't realise the terrors of being an older brother." 

 "I do!" Fíli called over, a little miffed that his second cousin thought otherwise.

Ignoring the blonde,  Óin crossed his arms and stared forcefully at Dori. "At least _I_ give my brother _freedom_." 

"What?" Dori cried, placing his hands squarely on his hips. "I do give them freedom! Too much freedom, in fact!"

Óin almost laughed. "C'mon, Dori! The only reason Nori's ended up in prison so many times is because he missed your 'freedom'."

The aforementioned Nori was grinning as he watched the argument unfold. "Look at them, eh? Arguin' over the likes of us. Ain't we lucky, Glóin?"

"Only you would find this funny,"  Glóin said, as he, too, watched their brothers argue. "It's gonna end badly, I just know it."

"You miserable bugger."

"Remember the last time this happened?" Glóin asked darkly, noting the way Nori paled. "Remember the only thing that stopped them was us raising hell until they forgot their agreement and reverted back to their usual selves."

Nori nodded his head, sighing softly. "Yes. I remember they were so cross with us. I thought Óin would throw you out the window, he was that angry."

"Well, I thought Dori would make you wear one of them kiddy leashes for the next five years."

"-You couldn't _possibly_ handle being a reasonable, _responsible_ , elder brother!"

And that was when it happened. Óin glared. His fists clenched together. And with a voice like Mahal roaring from afar, he declared something that made Nori and Glóin's blood freeze. "Oh, aye?" he boomed. "Well, I bet you couldn't last five minutes with Ori out of your sight! I bet the next time he nabs something, you couldn't ever not protect him!"

"Oh, really?" Dori snarled. "How much are you willing to bet?"

And Ori watched, confused, as his second oldest brother clutched tightly to his best friend, who also looked completely terrified.

 


End file.
